Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
