You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I AM VODKA MAN
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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