Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
