David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
