Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
