fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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