she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
