Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
