I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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