i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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