Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
