I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
