If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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