I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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