obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
