Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize