you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
