We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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