I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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