you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
