Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
