Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well you can't waste a boner
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
