I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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