Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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