i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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