when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
