OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
