i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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