Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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