found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
