I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
