my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
