guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
