...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize