i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
