So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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