I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
