a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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