I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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