Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
