If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
