Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
