I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
