FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize