Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
