What a fucking waste of an outfit
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
