i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
