i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
