so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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