I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
