Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
