You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
