Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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