I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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