mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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