You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
