so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
