so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
