His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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