Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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