Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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