I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize