Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
