I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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