The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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