It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
