So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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