Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
