Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
