when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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