I have demons in me.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
