is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
