i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Every concussion has its silver lining
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
