I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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